Letting go of what was

This month, I have felt a powerful need to let go. To let go of the dreams and wishes I’ve had over the years that I didn’t reach in the time I gave them.

I am haunted by the things that weren’t.

It’s a common thing - there are ideas that vanish into the ether, stories that don’t quite get told or edited, and years spent on traditional goal setting that isn’t fulfilled by Dec 31. I have found myself regretting these lost chances. I have found myself ruminating over the lives that haven’t been.

What if? Where would I be? What would I have done? What if that life was better?

Ah, a dangerous idea if any existed.

Because I will never know, and like Schrödinger’s cat, it will always be possible.

In design thinking, we offer up multiple choices because there is no right way to build an experience. Context will decide which choice best fits, but it’s never as black and white of one or nothing. This applies to life design - you could have any one of many careers, so there’s not one that is superior to all.

As I let go, I remember this.

What if I had stayed in Toronto? Would my career path have been different? Of course. Would I have done yoga teacher training sooner? Probably. Would I have still found my way to a multi-hyphen life? Absolutely.

The same goes for many things: veterinary over business school. UTS over SCS... There are always choices.

I used to worry I chose wrong in moments where I felt less than perfect, when perfectionism had me fooled that being human was failing.

Some of my paths were single ribbons. And as I listen to the foxes call to each other in the dark, I think perhaps what I chose instead was to travel a little bit of many ribbons. And so when I look back, I can see I have braided these choices together. My path may have been slower to progress because of this, but it is no less good.

All summer, I pulled the justice card in tarot. A reminder of universal balance - to trust in the flow. I am getting it.

I am exactly who I am. I am exactly where I am.

All of my choices have created me and, as we teach in NLP, my reality is perception. And my behaviour was right - for me - at the time.

I choose what to notice as I move forward. What I notice changes my perception.

I listened to a tarot pull the other day, and the words which struck a gong against my soul were - what if you were always meant to do more than one thing?

Justice. Trust the universe. Whispering, you are right; you know who you are.

My reality shifts.

Because I am a braided path, and I freeze each time I think the way forward is to follow a single ribbon. For some, that works very well. For me, it means leaving a part of myself behind.

It’s not easy. Instead of 1 focus, you must manage many and still focus. But it is what I am good at. I love advocating for better digital experiences; influencing personal finance; guiding others in mindset and creative flourishing; imagining different universes and telling the stories I find hidden in them.

In knowing my creative archetype, I have unlocked something in my mind. I’ve started to notice the things that nourish my energy so I can create this alternating current, this multipassionate life.

There are very few hard stops in life paths. And when I can trust that I am braiding my path as I go, I can trust that if it is time, if it’s right, one of those past dreams may weave back into my life. And so, I let go of them - of the people I might have been, of the lives I might have led. For a moment, they shimmer and then vanish, like bubbles bursting to be one with the universe.

And I can turn my energy to the ways that I flourish.

To the yoga teaching I am learning.

To the coaching framework I am building.

To the novels I am writing.

To the stories I am meant to tell.

As we move into the last quarter of a year without solid foundations, a year demanding change, this is my mantra. If it feels right, please take it to inspire you as you create yourself:

💥I was forged by the fires of my creativity.

💥I was moulded by the decisions I made.

💥I am exactly who I am.

💥I am exactly where I am to create the impact I am meant to have.